Snowmageddon '11: Thoughts

This morning I had an opportunity to do something I haven't done in, well, approximately 28 months: have nearly three hours of uninterrupted time to think. Of course this precious time wasn't without its cost. Snowmageddon '11 hit overnight and it was a whopper. It was an official blizzard with wind at 50 mph and who knows how much snow. I could have predicted the whole thing as my husband is out of the country, and whenever he flies the coop mid-winter, we inevitably get the biggest storm of the season. Happens. Every. Time.

The first thing I did this morning was let Ralphie out. Oops, can't go out back! Trapped. Front? Maybe. Fortunately he's not a bolter so I stood in the sunroom watching while his long legs navigated the drifts long enough to pee.

After surveying the surrounding snow situation I decided the first order of business would be to make a huge batch of oatmeal raisin cookies to use as currency should the National Guard need to be called in. There was no telling how many bribes I would need to issue to get out of this.

After the kitchen was back in order I summoned the assistance of our fabulous neighbors Steve & Erin. GG got some quality auntie time with Erin while Steve and I figured out how we were going to conquer drifts and plow-overflow above our knees. The entire job required removal of 2 to 3 shovels-full before the snow blower could be put to use. Brutal. During this time I had a lot of stuff cross my mind. Here's a random sample:

• I dominate the snow blower. Although it has an electric start I must have pull-started it at least a dozen times after clearing the first three layers of snow in various parts of our property. I totally showed it who was boss.
• Until it stopped running. I have never prayed for anything as hard as I did in hopes that it was just low on gas (bonus to knowing that if your husband leaves town you will get clobbered with snow: foresight to ask him where the snow blower gas can is). A few ounces and a pull-start later, we were back up and running. Continued domination.
  
• Steve gained excellent experience in being a future homeowner. He learned how to use the snow blower and that it's nice but not necessary to shovel the garden.
  
• I feel like an asshat neighbor for not doing June's sidewalk and driveway. June is our 90+ year old neighbor who lives on her own and rocks at life. She once told me in disgust how ridiculous she found it that her kids make her wear a Life Alert necklace. And between us and the neighbors on the other side we are always rotating and helping her out. But the thing is I know she also has a snow service and after almost three hours I opted out of doing her drive. I SUCK. Sorry June, maybe your next neighbors will be cooler.
  
• Speaking of June's next neighbors, I hope they don't mind that chunk of lawn that has now gone missing from the front yard. Also sorry about snowblowing the deck, but I seriously had no choice. And, in about 8 weeks, I shall think of you when you discover the Ralphie mine field that is now buried under three feet of snow. Bwa ha ha. Serves you right for asking to close in the middle of February.
• I am capable of pushing a small car out of a snow bank. After helping me with the drive, deck, and three sidewalks, I helped Steve dig out his and Erin's cars. Erin's was pretty wedged so while he tried to rock it back and forth, their landlord Herb and I stood at the bumper and gave it all we got. After that, Herb's snow blower died, so I loaned him ours. Continued snow domination.

At the end of the adventure Erin had GG down for a nap and I took a long hot shower. Temporary bliss. I am totally screwed when the plow comes back through but for now I am enjoying not smelling like gasoline and this golden hour before my muscles start their revolt on my body. I'm not sure how actual single moms do this, but for now I say stand down, snowpocalypse. I'm scrappier than I look.